I'll admit it, I am fucking addicted to Twitter. It is bordering on unhealthy, in a really good way. That doesn't make sense, you're thinking. I know. It doesn't make sense to me, either.
I love Twitter. I love meeting new people, reading their tweets and learning about them. I love funny, sarcastic and intelligent people. They tickle my brain and my funny bone and occasionally, another region, as well. I am extremely fortunate that I have those kinds of friends on Twitter; they make me laugh, make me think and offer tidbits of their lives and adventures. I have friends and followers all over the world, and they constantly remind me that the world is much smaller and intimate than it was twenty years ago.
I've also learned a valuable lesson while talking to my new, international friends. I've learned that words are just words. They hold no more or less power than you give them; and it is not just the speaker who gives the words meaning, it is the listener or reader, as well.
Take the word cunt, for example.
Growing up in a small, conservative community, I was taught that girls were girls, boys were boys, and boys should always respect girls. The word cunt was, and still is, taboo. Seriously taboo. It is THE word that is never said. It is perfectly acceptable for a girl or guy to call a guy a dick, if he was acting obnoxious, idiotic, rude, belligerent or, in general, an ass.
But GOD FORBID, you call a girl a cunt for acting in the exact same manner. A bitch, yes. In fact, the moniker "bitch" is about as bad as you can acceptably go in calling a female a derogatory name. To call a female a cunt, however, is taking a shot at her womanhood, at how she defines herself and her place in society. It is calling into question not just her femininity, but her worthiness, as well. Utter the word cunt, and her behavior gives way to hysterical crying and will form a complex so severe that it will take weeks of reassurance and chocolate to overcome.
Which brings me around to Twitter again. Brits have mastered the word cunt and use it with razor-sharp precision; yet, it's true meaning is in the context. I was told by someone very high up in cursebird.com's rank that it is the vilest of vile words, when no other word can match the depth of disgust and loathing, you throw out cunt. Instantly, there is the sharp intake of breath and a low murmur. There is no comeback. There is no evasion. You stand there and take it on the chin.
The word has other uses, as well. Guy friends call each other cunts, either jokingly or giving warning. I've heard of a woman calling a guy a cunt, although I've never seen or read it, personally. I was slightly appalled at first, but that feeling has since given way to pride, that a woman broke that barrier, feeling strong and brave enough to venture not only into male territory, but out of her own perception of the word. To say, this isn't about guarding my womanhood or how I define myself, this is about you being so horrible that I'm going to call you the one word that will take you out.
Rock on, and all you cunts can fuck off.
I love Twitter.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
A Call for Help!
Currently, I am researching communication information for a play I am writing, and I am using my blog to enlist your help, especially all my guy friends! What I need to know, and what I'd like for you to answer, involves all the ways in which you stay in touch with your friends. Specifically, I need information on the following:
1. Home Phone - Do you still talk to your friends on the phone? If yes, how often? What do you talk about generally? How long do you stay on the phone? What do you do while talking on the phone? Is it easier to talk about something on the phone rather than in person?
2. Cell phone - This is separate than a regular, old-fashioned landline phone in the home. I realize some of you may only have a cell phone. If that is the case, how do you use it when you are OUT of your home? Where do you make phone calls? Do you make private calls on the phone? When do you use your phone the most? What do you talk about the most, when using your cell phone?
3. Texting - Do you text your friends? When? Why?
4. E-mail - laptop, PC, cell - when do you E-mail? When do you make the majority of E-mails? D0 you discuss personal matters in your E-mail?
5. Networking Websites ie Facebook, MySpace - How do you use page to stay in touch with friends?
I appreciate everyone's participation and help with this project. If you would not like your comments made public, please indicate, and I will comply with your wishes. Also, may I contact you for further information? Please?
Thanks!
1. Home Phone - Do you still talk to your friends on the phone? If yes, how often? What do you talk about generally? How long do you stay on the phone? What do you do while talking on the phone? Is it easier to talk about something on the phone rather than in person?
2. Cell phone - This is separate than a regular, old-fashioned landline phone in the home. I realize some of you may only have a cell phone. If that is the case, how do you use it when you are OUT of your home? Where do you make phone calls? Do you make private calls on the phone? When do you use your phone the most? What do you talk about the most, when using your cell phone?
3. Texting - Do you text your friends? When? Why?
4. E-mail - laptop, PC, cell - when do you E-mail? When do you make the majority of E-mails? D0 you discuss personal matters in your E-mail?
5. Networking Websites ie Facebook, MySpace - How do you use page to stay in touch with friends?
I appreciate everyone's participation and help with this project. If you would not like your comments made public, please indicate, and I will comply with your wishes. Also, may I contact you for further information? Please?
Thanks!
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Myers-Biggs Personality Test Results - INTJ
I took a personality test a while back, and I shared it with my friends on Live Journal.
When I first read the results, I was like, No Way! But after thinking about this, I'm like.... hmmm. Maybe.
It is true that I like things in my life to be organized, only because so much in my life is beyond my control and is NOT organized.
Not sure if I would say I am skeptical, although I do tend to see situations for what they are, rather than what I'd like them to be. I do not explain myself or my actions, however, so that may lead some people to believe I don't see a situation for what it really is. I do.
And while I am independent and stubborn, I do not feel as if I only befriend those who are like me. Although it is probably true that my closest friends are likeminded. But I like everyone and can appreciate everyone's individuality!
Here is the link for the Myers-Biggs personality type INTJ Wikipedia, if you are interested Wikipedia - INTJ.
If you have the opportunity to take this test, take it! It is very insightful.
When I first read the results, I was like, No Way! But after thinking about this, I'm like.... hmmm. Maybe.
It is true that I like things in my life to be organized, only because so much in my life is beyond my control and is NOT organized.
Not sure if I would say I am skeptical, although I do tend to see situations for what they are, rather than what I'd like them to be. I do not explain myself or my actions, however, so that may lead some people to believe I don't see a situation for what it really is. I do.
And while I am independent and stubborn, I do not feel as if I only befriend those who are like me. Although it is probably true that my closest friends are likeminded. But I like everyone and can appreciate everyone's individuality!
I don't think of myself as 'the brain', more like in a room full of people who don't know how to make a firm decision for fear of stepping on toes, I'm more than capable of saying, "Okay, this way is the best because of A, B and C. Do you agree?"
Aloof, controlling and insensitive... I suppose this is an accurate, for those who don't get me. But I try very, very hard to take a step back from a situation and look at it objectively. I do not take sides. Before you ask me for an opinion, make sure you are ready to hear it, because if I think you are wrong, I will tell you.| You Are An INTJ |
 You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems. Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized. You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others. Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you. In love, you are always striving to improve your relationship. You have strong ideas of what love should be like. At work, you excel in figuring out difficult tasks. People think of you as "the brain." You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer. How you see yourself: Reasonable, knowledgeable, and competent When other people don't get you, they see you as: Aloof, controlling, and insensitive |
Here is the link for the Myers-Biggs personality type INTJ Wikipedia, if you are interested Wikipedia - INTJ.
If you have the opportunity to take this test, take it! It is very insightful.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Online Friends vs. 'Real Life' Friends
I have friends and a sister who differentiate between online friends and real life friends, as if talking to someone through E-mails and IM and Twitter makes the person on the opposite end somehow less of a person or less real.
My sister, for instance, does not believe you can have a true friendship with someone who isn't physically standing before you. I think she's full of shit. There are certain things that make a friendship, and honesty and the ability to share yourself are key.
I tend to share more personal details of my life when someone isn't in front of me. I don't know if it's the Catholic upbringing and telling my sins to the priest in a confessional or something else, but it is easier for me to say, "I wrote a great piece of porn last night for my story" to my friends online than I can to my best friend who lives only a couple miles away. Am I worried about her reaction to this bit of news? Ehm, not really. She's my best friend, she won't judge me. I'm more concerned she will read it and get ideas of what my sex life might be like! To be truthful, I don't really think I want to sit there and watch her eyes go all glassy and unfocused. Can I tell my best friend Jeannie, whom I've yet to meet in person but whom I've talked to through chat thousands of times and have talked on the phone with about the great bit of smut? Oh, hell yeah! She'll send it back to me with corrections and additions, as well.
But even more important than the ability to share with someone who isn't in front of me is the ability to see the bigger picture. I'm not, for the most part, a detail oriented person. I don't like looking at the itty, bitty details in my life. I know what is there and what isn't. I can look at my five friends whom I've met online, and say, "These people are really important to me. I would miss them if they left my life. I would go to them if they needed me. The only reason I'm not with them now is because they don't life close to me."
Perhaps it is because I don't believe that a person I've met online is any more or less likely to lie to me than if I've met them in person. A serial killer in person won't look like a serial killer, but you've more of a chance of being killed by running into one in person than you do if you've met one online. I think everyone mixes lies and truth, whether over a table at a restaurant or over laptops at kitchen tables. And in most cases, you see what you want to see, regardless of where one is sitting.
Personally, I'm of the opinion that I can have a long, sustained relationship with someone I've met online. For thousands of years, people have been exchanging letters without ever having met. The history books are filled with relationships that have been carried out in them. In this day of texting and instant messaging and Twitter, not to mention Skype, what is the difference between an E-mail and a letter?
My sister says that a letter is more thoughtful, it is from the heart. I'm of the opinion that the longer it takes to write a letter, the more it is untruthful, for you've had time to phrase a sentence just so, to chose your words oh, so carefully, to portray that exact emotion or moment as you want. I'm not implying that all letters are lies, just the opportunity to smooth over the rough spots or... well, yes, to lie. While to the same extent, you can do the same in an E-mail, for the vast majority of personal E-mails sent every day, usually someone is on the other end waiting for you to hit Send. There isn't always time to chose that perfect word. It might be a bit cruder, but it is no less honest or dishonest.
Will there come a time where remaining online friends won't be enough, that I'll need to meet them in person? Yes. I've met one, already. Michelle. I flew across the country to meet her. Worth every mile. I'm meeting another next month, at her house. Jeannie, who makes me laugh like crazy. If I were ever to have an older sister, I'd want it to be her. Two more live one state away. I figure, if I plan it right, I may be able to spend time with both of them. The last one? Best saved for another time. Maybe.
My sister, for instance, does not believe you can have a true friendship with someone who isn't physically standing before you. I think she's full of shit. There are certain things that make a friendship, and honesty and the ability to share yourself are key.
I tend to share more personal details of my life when someone isn't in front of me. I don't know if it's the Catholic upbringing and telling my sins to the priest in a confessional or something else, but it is easier for me to say, "I wrote a great piece of porn last night for my story" to my friends online than I can to my best friend who lives only a couple miles away. Am I worried about her reaction to this bit of news? Ehm, not really. She's my best friend, she won't judge me. I'm more concerned she will read it and get ideas of what my sex life might be like! To be truthful, I don't really think I want to sit there and watch her eyes go all glassy and unfocused. Can I tell my best friend Jeannie, whom I've yet to meet in person but whom I've talked to through chat thousands of times and have talked on the phone with about the great bit of smut? Oh, hell yeah! She'll send it back to me with corrections and additions, as well.
But even more important than the ability to share with someone who isn't in front of me is the ability to see the bigger picture. I'm not, for the most part, a detail oriented person. I don't like looking at the itty, bitty details in my life. I know what is there and what isn't. I can look at my five friends whom I've met online, and say, "These people are really important to me. I would miss them if they left my life. I would go to them if they needed me. The only reason I'm not with them now is because they don't life close to me."
Perhaps it is because I don't believe that a person I've met online is any more or less likely to lie to me than if I've met them in person. A serial killer in person won't look like a serial killer, but you've more of a chance of being killed by running into one in person than you do if you've met one online. I think everyone mixes lies and truth, whether over a table at a restaurant or over laptops at kitchen tables. And in most cases, you see what you want to see, regardless of where one is sitting.
Personally, I'm of the opinion that I can have a long, sustained relationship with someone I've met online. For thousands of years, people have been exchanging letters without ever having met. The history books are filled with relationships that have been carried out in them. In this day of texting and instant messaging and Twitter, not to mention Skype, what is the difference between an E-mail and a letter?
My sister says that a letter is more thoughtful, it is from the heart. I'm of the opinion that the longer it takes to write a letter, the more it is untruthful, for you've had time to phrase a sentence just so, to chose your words oh, so carefully, to portray that exact emotion or moment as you want. I'm not implying that all letters are lies, just the opportunity to smooth over the rough spots or... well, yes, to lie. While to the same extent, you can do the same in an E-mail, for the vast majority of personal E-mails sent every day, usually someone is on the other end waiting for you to hit Send. There isn't always time to chose that perfect word. It might be a bit cruder, but it is no less honest or dishonest.
Will there come a time where remaining online friends won't be enough, that I'll need to meet them in person? Yes. I've met one, already. Michelle. I flew across the country to meet her. Worth every mile. I'm meeting another next month, at her house. Jeannie, who makes me laugh like crazy. If I were ever to have an older sister, I'd want it to be her. Two more live one state away. I figure, if I plan it right, I may be able to spend time with both of them. The last one? Best saved for another time. Maybe.
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