Friday, January 11, 2013

INTJ Personality

Most of the time I give no thought to what kind of person I am. I'm sure most people are the same, but when I'm thrown into a tailspin of emotions, the balm I desperately seek lies in my personality type.

I know who I am, and who I'm not. I'm an INTJ. I'll not be going into a lengthy description here, as I'm sure it would either bore you or distract you. That being said, when I'm in an emotional tsunami, and yes, that is what it mostly feels like, I remember who and what I really am, and it gives me comfort.

I don't deal well with emotions, especially my own. Most of the time, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel, and what I do feel makes me confused. The problem is that my feelings are hard-wired to my brain, so if my boyfriend and I are having a fight, for instance, I'm not going to lash out and yell and be emotional. I'm going to get very quiet and retreat, and in my head I'm going to figure out what the hell is going on, make corrections, and then move on.

And when a relationship is no longer working, when there is no longer any benefit it, I walk away. Which is what I've done recently. And I've been feeling guilty for not feeling upset about it. I feel like I should feel more, but I'm just confused and upset that I have all these emotions running around in my head.

And I think - constantly! I go over each and every aspect of what went right and what went wrong, And I get mad at myself that I think about him, because I don't want to think about him, but I know it's just how my brain operates. And once I've processed all of my emotions, and I've thought about every last little detail, it'll finally be over and done with, and my life will once more settle down into an easy pattern.