One Week

What a difference one week makes.

Last Monday, I found Ian's dad on Facebook. There he was, plain as day. A former co-worker had friended me there, and after thinking it over for a couple of days (and one message from her that said, "Hey, remember me...") I friended her. There he was in her Friends list, in plain sight.

I debated - Do I? Don't I? Should I? I was praying for civility but expecting a brush off when I clicked the send button on the short message I composed. The message consisted of... "Hi. It's been a while since we've talked. (Read ten years.) I'd really appreciate it if we could talk soon." That was it. The message.

I got my boy ready for his baseball game, and we didn't get home until close to 8:30 that night. To find five messages from his dad, asking me to contact me. Here is my cell number. Here is my home number.

While I was reading his messages, he opened up a chat in Facebook and said hello. I was literally shaking in my chair. We talked. I cried. Ian was in the living room watching television and I was in the kitchen speaking to his dad. He asked me to call him after I put Ian to bed, and I said I would. We talked for three hours.

On Tuesday, I spoke with Chris during the day. He'd talked to his daughter about Ian, and they both wanted to speak with Ian on the phone. They called that night. Ian is over the moon. He's really, really handling this well, but I think he's a bit shell-shocked, to be honest. I spoke with Chris, then handed the phone to Ian. While he was talking to his dad, Chris' daughter Kylie found me on FB and friended me then started chatting with me, asking if Ian had a FB page, and would I make him one so they could talk. Ian asked to speak to his sister, so Chris and I started chatting on FB. Later, before bed, I was speaking again to Chris on the phone and Ian brought my laptop into my room, where he was chatting with his sister. It was one of the most surreal moments in my life.

On Wednesday, Chris and Kylie showed up at Ian's baseball game. Chris and I had planned on going out to dinner on Friday, so we could see each other and I could emotionally prepare myself for Chris and Ian meeting. But Kylie was to be with her mom this weekend, and she didn't want her dad to meet her brother before she got the chance to. Again, I shook. I had to work the concession stand that night, and it was a darn good thing - I needed the distraction. They came back to the house after the game, and Ian and Kylie were as thick as thieves. For our part, it felt like those ten years disappeared, like we were never apart. I don't know how that happened, but it just did.

On Thursday there was another phone call. On Friday there was dinner and drinks for Chris and I. We talked. We connected. We talked some more. He came back to the house and we watched a movie with Ian and my sister. Ian asked his dad to sleep over, and he agreed. (He and I had already agreed.) Chris helped me put Ian to bed. In the morning, they played Wii. That night, Chris came to dinner. He brought new smoke alarms for the house, ingredients for a sausage dip for my sister to try, and a WWII book and Playstation 2 game for Ian.

On Sunday, Chris called me at 9:30 in the morning, asking if I would bring Ian over for the day. I didn't pick him up until almost 8:00 that night.

In one week, Ian went from never seeing his dad to having one, to meeting and hanging out with a sister he never knew about (I'd told him, but he didn't remember), to making camping plans and being given a new bike (Chris bought Ian a new bike because all the kids on his street were riding theirs and Ian didn't have one) and the hint that he might be getting a gun for Christmas.

In one week, I went from being a single mom raising a child on her own, worrying and wondering and hoping and dreading the day Ian would meet his dad, to being amazed at learning all the mannerisms my son has that come from his dad, knowing he looks even more like his sister than I thought possible, to knowing that I'm no longer his only parent. To realizing all the forms that now have to be filled out with Chris' information for the next school year...

One fucking week has changed my life forever.