On Belief...

I was born and raised a Catholic. I'm raising my son as a Catholic, as well. Am I religious? Not especially, no. Do I believe and follow everything the Catholic Church teaches? Outside of religious doctrine - no. The purpose of the papacy, for example was to continue spreading the word of Jesus throughout the world. And throughout the last two thousand years (making it the world's oldest organization), it has done precisely that. By far, I believe the Catholic Church has done far more good than bad for the world.

The church's main job, in my opinion, is to continue teaching the world about Jesus. Along the way, it felt itself important enough to tell us how to live our lives. In as how to live the way Christ wants us to live, yes, that should be included. The Church points to the Ten Commandments, first. But if you look at almost every civilization, no matter where and when on the world time line, there is a code of conduct that every civilization followed. Don't kill. Respect your elders. Don't take what isn't yours, and don't want what isn't yours to the point it's going to make you do something stupid - either be content with what you have or work harder for something more. Does it say premarital sex is bad? No, it says honor your commitments. Does it say birth control is wrong? No. And I am sure there have been methods of birth control being practiced since women learned to walk and talk.

However, lest us forget, the Catholic organization is made up of men, and no man is perfect. There have been married popes, warrior popes and just plain bad popes. There have been horrific atrocities - the Crusades and Spanish Inquisition, to name but a few. Regarding the sexual abuse scandals being made around the world, what these men did is horrible, it is wrong, and the Church should own up to it's responsibility. Is it the Church's fault that some priests are pedophiles? No, it is not. It is wrong to let them stay in positions of trust, however. These abuses did not start in the 20th century. The only difference between now and five hundred years ago is that now people are no longer afraid of protecting themselves instead of the Church and are pointing fingers at priests for their wrongdoing.

It is hard to teach my son to respect the Church when it has lost so much respect for itself, but I still believe in the religion it teaches. I still believe in the sanctity of Sunday mass and the sacraments of penance and communion. The reason that Easter is my favorite holiday is because it is the most important in the Catholic religion - it is the reason for its very existence. The joy, the solemnity and the power of Christ all come together on Easter Sunday.

But I remind myself and my son that no one is perfect and everyone, including priests and even Popes, can and do, make mistakes. The words accountability and responsibility are big in my home. My son knows what they mean and how they should shape is actions and decisions. It's been a long time since I talked with my cousin, a Catholic priest, about his years in the seminary. They teach what the job of a priest is, but I wonder how much time is spent on HOW to do the job; how to hold yourself accountable, how to self-discipline yourself. How do you reaffirm and re-evaluate the choices you've made. Do priests now get continuing education? Do they still participate in retreats? I don't know. But I think it's important to find out. It is good to be held accountable for your actions. It's what the Catholic church teaches, after all. Self-determination.

And I'm still a Catholic.